Grounds of Incompatibility

They used to call it “irreconcilable differences”. It was the miscellaneous, catch-all reason to divorce someone when there’s really no one at fault. There’s even a movie about it with Drew Barrymore.

I guess now it’s been updated to “grounds of incompatibility”. It doesn’t have the same Hollywood ring to it, but it means the same goddamn thing:

I don’t want to be with you anymore.

I don’t know when my wife decided we were incompatible. Maybe it was when she met Ray. Maybe it was five years ago. Maybe it was the day after our wedding. Maybe it was the night before.

She tells me that she was never really in love with me. That she only married me because I possessed many of the qualities she wanted in a husband and that she hoped the romantic feelings would develop. They never did.

She says we have no “chemistry”, whatever the fuck that means. I guess her knees don’t get weak every time I walk in the room. I guess she doesn’t get butterflies when we kiss. I guess her pussy doesn’t throb when we hold hands.

Whatever.

If she didn’t feel any chemistry with me, maybe she should have had the courage to say no when I proposed. That’s what a decent person would have done. But she’s not a decent person. She’s a rancid, selfish bitch who is destroying my family. I hope she gets compatible with someone soon and he treats her like garbage.

Today, to be divorced means being incompatible.